The Amazing Spider-man
Marc Webb, 2012
2 Stars
It’s very difficult to try and view this summer’s Spiderman
reboot objectively. Aside from the obvious “too soon” statement upon every
audience member’s lips, there is something so very iconic about Sam Raimi’s Spiderman that it was always going to be
difficult to beat. Uncle Ben’s “With Great Power…” speech. The Spidey kiss.
Even the infamous Saturday Night Fever-esque
struts of Spiderman 3 (only five
years ago, just in case you haven’t heard that enough of late) are such a
notable part of so many people’s growing up, that no matter what director Marc
Webb brought to the table in his allegedly darker retelling, it was never going
to be enough for most die-hard fans.
So let’s not dwell too much on what was, and look instead at
what is.
In The Amazing
Spiderman we are once again taken back to the beginning on a journey that
ticks all of the boxes in Spiderman mythology; bitten by a radioactive spider, Peter
Parker (played by could-be One Direction member Andrew Garfield) falls for high
school sweetheart Mary Jane… Check that, Gwen Stacey (sultry and husky Emma
Stone), loses his beloved Uncle Ben at the hands of a petty crook after some
stupid decisions, and goes on to battle a mutated mentor, all the while getting
to grips with his newfound spider-senses.
On paper, it ticks all of the right boxes, and indeed there
is some good to be found here; a couple of touching scenes, most notably for
this jaded Spidey fan, the moment when school bully Flash Thompson (a rather
pathetically unthreatening Chris Zylka… in fact, I can’t of a less convincing
school hard-ass save for Kiefer Sutherland in Stand By Me) actually sympathises with Parker’s lost uncle, and a
wonderful scene in which Spidey saves a young boy from a car moments before it
plummets into the Hudson. Rhys Ifans’ performance as teacher-turned-nemesis
Curt Connors is also at times touching, if somewhat underdeveloped, and Martin
Sheen does a nice job as the tragic Uncle Ben.
Where the film truly falls short however, is in its attempts
to be a darker, more brooding Spiderman.
The attempts to echo the success of Batman
Begins are evident throughout, but whereas Nolan’s films worked by bringing
the Dark Knight into a reality, the Marvel Universe is flawed in its own
supernatural elements. When your hero is empowered by a modified spider and
your villains are giant lizard men, it’s a little difficult to imagine this
really happening in downtown New York.
Of course, if the story is strong, we, as an audience, will
buy it. Unfortunately, the script is so clunky and jumpy it feels like it has
been written by a first-year script-writing student with a little too much time
on his hands. The exposition is so heavy-handed that one scene in particular
will remain in my head for years to come as the most ridiculous
foretelling-of-a-baddie’s-plan moment of all time… Not quite word for word,
but;
INT: OSCORP LABS
A large,
ominous-looking machine. Enter DR CURT CONNORS.
CONNORS: Hello, I’m
Dr Curt Connors. I want to rid the world of weakness. This is a machine that
can cover an entire city with a cloud of toxic gas.
Obviously, not quite verbatim, but I swear, not far off. I
actually groaned loudly in the cinema as I sipped on my Ironman tommy tipple. And
how does the Lizard discover that Spiderman is actually Peter Parker? Spidey
drops his camera during a scuffle, and conveniently on it is a sticker stating
“Property of Peter Parker”. Come on people! At times, the writing honestly
feels like a poorly plotted episode from Spiderman
The Animated Series. The intrepid soul-searching and “quest for answers”
promised by the marketing campaign is also completely non-existent. Having a
brooding lead does not automatically mean that there are answers to be found;
one does have to ask some questions in the first place!
But, the question is, is it enjoyable? And yes, I have to
admit, I had a good time. Though not a patch on its predecessors, there is fun
to be had here. Quite simply put, it’s Spidey for the Beiber generation. I’m
already fully aware of the tweenage (and worryingly older) Garfield fans this end of the globe, and can
only imagine the starry eyed young girls swooning over the
far-too-attractive-to-be-Peter-Parker young fellow in the est of the world. I
guess the only way to properly gauge this film as a success would be to wait
until this year’s twelve year-olds are subjected to the next reboot in 2024 and
see how they react. But for me? Spiderman? Not quite… Amazing? Far from it.
Bring on the Bat-Maaaaan…
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