The Kraziest KitKats You'll Ever Kome By...

There have been some strange KitKats over the past year and a bit, but recently it seems that Nestle are really going all out when it comes to down-right bizarre flavours, most of which, quite honestly, have been bloody awful…

Cheese KitKat – 1 Finger

Let’s get the daftest one out of the way first, shall we? Yes, Mr. Nestle and his confectionary wizards have actually decided to create a cheese flavoured treat. Quite frankly, it’s just as bad as it sounds. Certainly capturing the cheesy taste, which in itself not such a good thing, this is more a novelty than any kind of treat.

Brown Sugar KitKat – 1.5 Fingers

The idea of adding something sweet to something else that’s likewise saccharine is not a new one. Jelly Babies are dusted with icing sugar, and millionaire’s shortbread is one of man’s finest indulgent creations. Adding the taste of molasses to a chocolate bar, however, is not really something that floated my boat. Overly sugary, and with a texture that rather made my teeth itch, this is another miss for my books.

Potato KitKat Bar – 1 Finger

This isn’t the first potato variety there’s been, and I have a sneaking suspicion it won’t be the last. Unfortunately, it’s just as horrible as every one that’s come before it, and undoubtably every one that’s soon to come. Just bigger.

Green Tea KitKat – 2 Fingers

I’m not much of a fan of green tea to be honest. It tastes a bit like old dishwater. But ho hum. This is a regional variety brought back for me from Kyoto by one of my students. It’s not awful, and is certainly a little nicer than the real thing, but it’s definitely not something I’d pay the shinkansen ride to Kyoto for.

Hokkaido Cream Latte – 4 Fingers

Somewhat of a reprieve from the badness of recent ventures is this delightful little number, which comes, even more endearingly, in a KitKat coffee cup. Hokkaido, famous in Japan for its cream (which isn’t actually all that great…) lends its name to this coffee flavoured number. Which is just top notch.

Autumnal Treats

KitKats have been scarce of late. There have been various theories amongst we merry band of enthusiasts; most notably that it’s summer and therefore no-one wants chocolate, which is just downright stupid. Turns out, however, that Nestlé have been concentrating on a shiny new range of regional specials that shall be hitting the shelves sonly. Hazah!

My last day in Yanai was, however, brightened up no end upon discovering the tasty new “Autumn Assort”. Nom-ilicious.

Chestnut KitKat – 3 Fingers

Chestnuts are a strange breed. Obviously not the kind that once were battled in school playgrounds (until good old health and safety stepped in), rather the kind that are sold by cheery greasy Cockney folk outside the British Museum. The Chestnut KitKat is pretty yummy. Smooth and nutty, it’s certainly the best of the nut-based bars I’ve come across.

Caramel Pudding KitKat – 3 Fingers

There seems to be something of an obsession with Crème Brule style flavours in these reaches; indeed this is the fourth variation of exactly the same flavour that I’ve come across. Yes, it’s good, but can we come up with something new please chaps?

Salt and Caramel KitKat Bar – 3.5 Fingers

There’s been some weird ones along the way; Wasabi wasn’t exactly a tasty treat, and Vegetable Juice was a painful ordeal. Sometimes, however, it’s the most bizarre flavours that really hit the spot. Salt and caramel may not, at first, sound at all appealing, but in fact this one of the greats. The lightly salted wafers hidden by a delectably caramel chocolate combine for a real, filling snack. Hello salty goodness!

Nom Nom Nom (Part Two)

So, to continue my bumper bundle of beauties from my newfound chums at http://www.napajapan.com/ we have some Hokaido specials, as well as the elusive new soda flavours that I nearly made the foolhardy mistake of not picking up last weekend at the 7/11.

Banana KitKat – 3.5 Fingers

This is another of last year’s specials that I rather fell in love with and have been trying to track down since. Bananas and chocolate are an obvious combination, dating back to that first brave man to wrap the two together in tinfoil and throw it on a raging barbecue. Nestle’s venture is a delightful milk chocolate outing that tastes like a yummy banana milkshake. Top banana.

Corn KitKat – 1 Finger

This is the first of two Hokaido specials that NapaJapan were happy to oblige me with. What the hell they were thinking, I’m not sure. Why anyone would want corn flavoured chocolate, I really don’t know. Though utterly disgusting, this KitKat does taste exactly like buttery sweetcorn. But seriously, not a good thing.

Melon KitKat – 3 Fingers

I’ve never been big on the fruity flavours, but I must say that the second of the Hokaido editions is much easier on the tastebuds than its brother. Melony and sweet, its one downfall is the horribly sickly aftertaste.

Cola KitKat – 3 Fingers

Yes, that’s right, Cola flavour. It’s an odd one to say the least, but somehow it works. It think the chocolate is a brown coloured white, though it could be a strangely light milk… Really not sure to be honest. The flavour is a wonderfully aromatic mix of cola and milk, somewhat akin to a traditional coke float. Nom.

Lemon Soda KitKat – 2 Fingers

This is one that really should’ve worked better than it does… Lemon and chocolate is fun, and by and large the soda style bars have been some of the fore-runners in the polls. However, the experience is somewhat underwhelming. White chocolate with an all too subtle lemon hint. Add a little fizz and a bit more pizzazz, and this could’ve been a classic. Alas, it’s flatter than a bottle of White’s that’s had the top left off too long.

Nom Nom Nom (Part One)

So, a few weeks ago, I made a big fat order from my new favourite website, http://www.napajapan.com/ a place where one can find all of those elusive KitKats that hide in the more secretive coves of this sultry collection of islands known as Japan.

I haven’t tried all of my purchases yet, but this is the first batch… Some are amazing, and some, quite frankly, are bloody horrible!

Ginger Ale KitKat – 3.5 Fingers

I actually had one of these before Christmas, and fell a little in love with it. Certainly one of the stranger of ideas for a chocolate bar, but it’s one that really does work. But then, why wouldn’t it? Ginger and chocolate is one of those magic combinations that really make my taste buds smile. An excellent little venture.

Milk Coffee KitKat – 4 Fingers

A true gem here; from the moment you unwrap, your olfactory passages are infiltrated with the sweet coffee aroma, and from first bite, the intense flavour excites the palate like few bars ever had. Most definitely one of my all-time favourites.

Sparkling Strawberry KitKat – 1.5 Fingers

Nestle seem keen to push the strawberry flavours… I think this is maybe the fourth or fifth type I’ve had now, and I must say I’m getting a little bored of them. This one however, is not your typical berry blast, but instead a “sparkling” variety, which tastes like one of those awful gummi strawberries you get at the cinema pick-and-mix. Not the Haribo ones, the really awful cheap ones. Not good Mr. N. Not good at all.

Vegetable Juice KitKat – 0 Fingers

Imagine if you will a juice (and indeed one that is massively popular in JapanLand) made of carrots and apples. Lovely, eh? Now imagine a KitKat that encapsulates that flavour.
This is the first KitKat I’ve ever had that I actually couldn’t finish. And alas I have another in the fridge.

Coming soon… Banana, Melon and Buttered Corn flavours, and whatever else they decide to throw at me along the way.

Four Fingers of Disappointment

Having received a delumptious package this morning from my new favourite website http://www.napajapan.com/ , a site that sells rare and regional varieties of Kitkats from across Nippon, I figured that I should catch up on the last month’s offerings before tucking in to anymore.

Unfortunately, recent ventures from those culinary genii at Nestle Japan have been a little on the disappointing side. Ho hum.

Strawberry Cheesecake KitKat – 2 Fingers

This is a regional variety from Yokohama, near Tokyo, that was purchased by my fellow hunter, the lovely Miss Manami. Unfortunately, upon arrival, this box of white chocolate fellows had all but melted into wafer-y lumps. Of course, twenty years on from the “broken biscuits aren’t the same” debacle, I could just about see past the fate of these poor mutants. Just about. The cheesecake variety certainly tastes like the real thing, but alas, this somehow doesn’t translate to a chocolate bar, leaving the consumer with a kind of feety aftertaste. I have yet to try the likewise regional Blueberry Cheesecake variation, but if this (and the Blueberry KitKat… To follow…) is anything to go by, I’ve rather lost my excitement.

Blueberry KitKat – 1 Finger

I must say, I don’t usually get excited about fruity KitKats, since there is most often something horribly saccharine about them. Blueberries being one of my favourites of natures snack, however, I decided to give this one a fair chance. Silly me. Remember way back before Tim Burton’s take on Willy Wonka, when you could buy WonkaBars that were purple and possibly Snozzberry flavoured? They were cool, ‘cause it was purple. And Wonka. Unfortunately, as I bit into this milk chocolate bar, I found myself flung back to childhood and that all too familiar taste. Which now, quite frankly, tastes awful.

Bitter Almond KitKat – 1.5 Fingers

Almonds have always been a case of take it or leave it for me. Occasionally, a shot of almond syrup in a latte is okay, but as a rule, the weird little nut whose name nobody is truly sure how to pronounce has never done it for me. As such, this KitKat, though capturing the taste of the real thing perfectly, really doesn’t tickle me. I’ll be sending a load home to my mother; a big fan of almondiness, so I’ll be intrigued to hear her opinions.

Aloe Yoghurt KitKat – 2.5 Fingers

There’s something of a “best of a bad bunch” feel here… Though, upon occasion, I’m quite fond of aloe flavoured stuff (gawd bless you, you crazy vegans!), I’m not sure if the partnership with chocolate really works. White chocolate, with a kind of sickly stickiness to its flavour. First taste, I was sold, but on repeated tries, this is really one whose novelty wears quickly thin.

Regional Variety

The last week or so has been punctuated with some awesome rarities from across the land of KitKats, each of which I have had an all too brief one-bar taste. We also have a new creation from the genii at Nestle’s for your delectation… Enjoy!

Zunda KitKat – 2 Fingers

The first of two rarities, brought back by one of my students from a trip to Sendai is the curious “zunda” KitKat. Now, I’m not entirely sure exactly what “zunda” is, but I believe it’s some kind of soy-based mochi. Indeed that’s what the KitKat tastes like. With a milky green chocolate and a rather peculiar taste, this wouldn’t be my bar of choice, but it certainly isn’t bad.

Cherry KitKat – 3 Fingers

The second of my Sendai special editions is a much more pleasant little treat; rich pink chocolate infused with a delightfully aromatic cherry flavour. By far one of the best fruit flavoured varieties, it’s rather a shame I could only get one bar of these hard to come by Wonka-like creation.

Custard Pudding KitKat – 4 Fingers

I actually half-inched this one from my pub landlord… He had recently been to Kobe, the home of this lovely rarity, and returned with a box of mini-bars. Clearly he was not aware just how prized regional varieties are to the serious collector… Very similar to the national custard pudding version, with an aromatic white chocolate that tastes just like real custard, this was made even more of a treat by my own naughtiness in retrieving it.

Strawberry KitKat Balls – 3.5 Fingers

Now, these are quite strange really… Not exactly KitKats in the strictest sense, they are nonetheless chocolatey, wafery and delightfully strawberry-y. A wonderful little snack from those fine chocolatiers at Nestle Japan.

Bumper KitKat Bonanza!

This month we have something of a bumper edition of the KitKat Kollective, featuring finds from all over East Asia. We have special editions from Tokyo and Fukuoka, and even a sneaky little charlatan I found in Korea… Enjoy…

Soy Sauce KitKat – 3.5 Fingers

This one really strikes me as a tourist special, being limited only to certain places in Tokyo, and is quite frankly, a bizarre choice for a chocolate bar. That said, it really works… The soy sauce infuses itself with the white chocolate giving a delightfully pungent mapley taste. Ruddy good show Japan.

Wasabi KitKat – 3 Fingers

This is just plain weird. Another of the Tokyo Tourist editions, this really does emulate the overpowering experience of too much of that famous Japanese horse radish. I wouldn’t say it’s one I would choose given the option, but for sheer balls, this gets a solid three fingers.

Kinako (toasted soy bean) KitKat – 2 Fingers

I’m not really sure what to think of the third of my Tokyo specials. Not knowing what kinako actually tastes like on its own (I’ve had it on mochi, but never thought to myself “hmm… I really fancy a spoonful of soybean powder…”), I’m not quite sure how to take it. It kind of tastes like a dusty KitKat. But maybe that’s what they were going for.

Framboise KitKat – 3 Fingers

Usually, I’m not a huge fan of the fruitier KitKats, but this one took me by surprise. Taking on the flavour of raspberry liqueur, it actually manages to taste alcoholic. The raspberry itself is perhaps a little overpowering, and does leave something of a saccharine aftertaste, but overall not an entirely unpleasant experience at all.

Yuzu and Chilli KitKat – 4 Fingers

This, a Fukuoka exclusive, is quite possibly the best variation that I have come across since my Kollecting began; infusing the Japanese citrus fruit yuzu (an aromatic lime-like fruit) with chilli and dark cholcolate, it creates a taste sensation that is just awesome. This is one of the rare payoffs for obsessive collecting. Thank you Mr. N.

Purple Potato KitKat – 0.5 Fingers

An Okinawa special that somehow found itself in Fukuoka station, I really only bought this for the sake of completion. And it’s rubbish. I had the regular potato variety a few months ago, and it was just horrible. And this one is worse, redeemed only by the fact it has a pretty wrapper and some quite attractive purple chocolate. Chocolate and potato simply doesn’t work. Give it up!

Ocha (green tea) KitKat Bar – 3.5 Fingers

Now usually, I’m not much of a fan of green tea. It’s growing on me certainly, but is by now means a beverage of choice. As such, I was delightfully surprised at just how good this one was. Substantial and filling, as all the bar varieties tend to be, this was also curiously tasty. And had green chocolate. Something I always admire.

KicKer – 0 Fingers

I was informed that KitKat was available in Korea, under a different name; KicKer. I was not informed, however, that said bar was a cuckoo’s egg; a pair of knock-off Nikes; a down-right fake. Made by Crown (whoever they are) KicKer, although to the untrained eye, a simple variation of KitKat, contains sub-par quality chocolate, and far too little wafer. Beware this impostor. If you have any concerns regarding counterfeit KitKats, please contact FAKT – the Federation Against KitKat Theft.

Springtime for KitKats and Nestle

This month’s KitKat collective comes from the far corners of Japan, ranging from little ol’ Yanai to the bright lights of Tokyo. Alas, no Soy Sauce flavour could be found, but there are a few delights nonetheless. Usual four-finger rating applies.

Strawberry Milk KitKat – 3 Fingers

The first of our Tokyo specials is this tasty little chap, featuring a delightfully cute teddy bear on the wrapper. Strawberry KitKats seem to be something of a commonplace round these parts; indeed, I think this is the fourth different strawberry variety I’ve come across, and is certainly the best. Sweet but not saccharine, this one really does taste like strawberry milkshake. Yum.

Sweet Potato KitKat – 1.5 Fingers

Another Tokyo venture is one that I came across first not long after I arrived in Japan. I must admit however, that despite the lovely gift box I received for my birthday, it’s not one I’m a fan of. I mean, let’s face it; it’s a potato flavour KitKat. Definitely one to pass off on others…

Mix Fruit Smoothie KitKat – 3.5 Fingers

This is one I’m really quite keen on actually, mostly because it delivers exactly what it says on the packet; fruity and tasty, with a scrumptious mix of peach, banana and strawberry, this one really brings back the taste of juice bars back home.

KitKat Cookie Plus – 3 Fingers

Exactly what the “plus” is, I’m not quite sure, but this is a really good little number. Rather than the usual wafer filling, we have a shortcake interior that is simply fabulous. Unfortunately, these ones are even smaller than the already downsized regular KitKats, and such really leave you wanting more. A shame really, especially since they only come in packs of six.

KitKat Monthly

Things have been quiet as ever down here in deep dark Yanai. With the Spring storms raging, and the Ume blossoms fighting valiantly against the rain, I’ve been stuck indoors almost perpetually, working hard on a new screenplay (a secret for the time being I’m afraid), as well as continuing the illustrated adventures of Alfonso the Ant (coming soon to a book store near you…?).

Kids have been crazy, and with the end of the school year rapidly approaching I have been busy saying emotional goodbyes to some of my kindergarten classes as they move on to elementary school.

The light at the end of the tunnel? Why, KitKats of course! And here are the rather Spartan offerings of the last few weeks. Fortunately, the Maple variety is still available everywhere, so rather living off that one at the moment. There is talk of the legendary Soy Sauce species making its way to Yanai soon though… Tantalising, eh?

KitKat Petit – 3 Fingers

This is, I guess, somewhat akin to the KitKat Kubes that Nestle released a few years ago; tiny, bite-sized ingots of KitKatty goodness. They’re a bit pointless really, but being Japan, everything has to be tiny. So goes without saying that they should shrink (the already smaller than the rest of the world anyway) KitKats too. 3 stars simply because it’s a standard KitKat. Just miniaturised.

Custard Pudding KitKat – 2.5 Fingers

A few weeks ago, I had a singularly Elysian experience with a custard pudding KitKat bar, one of the greatest chocolate creations I have come across since coming to the far corners of the globe. As such, I was thrilled to find a multi-pack of standard sized custard-lings. Unfortunately, they messed up big time. Whilst the bar variety is an aromatic milk chocolate adventure, some clever boots decided to make its everyday counterpart a white chocolate version. And it just doesn’t work anywhere near as well… Sickly and stodgy, it does grow on you, but alas nothing compared to its big brother. Poo.


Semi-Sweet KitKat – 3 Fingers

I must admit, I had to call in the experts up in Tokyo to decipher what this one actually was, but I must say, despite the bizarre name, it’s pretty good. It’s a dark chocolate bar with a little extra kick… Exactly what the kick is, I’m not sure, but I like it. An enigma of a bar, wrapped in delightful Emo clothing. Hazah.

Banana KitKat Bar - 3.5 Fingers

Once again, the crown prince of candy this month goes to the mini-feast that is the KitKat bar. This month’s offer is a banana variety, and, unlike the standard banana bar of December, this is a white chocolate treat. With a great aroma, the perfect level of banana flavour, this is a real man’s snack. Kudos to the chaps in Bar Division; you’ve come up trumps again!

Three Fingers

In the land of KitKats, offerings have been somewhat on the sparse side of late. However, this week, we have a trio of chocolately goodness for your oral pleasure, two of the relatively ordinary, and one just plain wierd... As ever, we're on the four finger ratig system. Enjoy.

Strawberry KitKat - 3 Fingers

Strawberries and chocolate is a coupling as old as pleasure itself, though having treid Nestle's "Strawberry Fizz KitKat" (a bright pink thing that left a hideous aftertaste) I was somewhat dubious about its new "regular" counterpart. But I was pleasantly surprised. I have generally found strawberries in Japan to be a little bland and tasteless, so was taken aback somewhat by the sweet and pungeant aroma that presented itself as I unwrapped the bar. The taste is good; not too sweet as fruit-flavoured chocolates often are, and thankfully this time, no acrid aftermath. Good work Mr. N.

Citrus KitKat - 3 Fingers

I picked up this bright orange little number whilst in Hiroshima, and have not, as of yet, seen it down here in Yanai. It's a strange one, infusing all three major citrus flavours (orange, lemon and lime) into one KitKat, and giving it a lurid orange hue. But it works rather nicely. A deliciously sour twang and strong flavours of all three fruits produce a curiously tasty treat.

Sakura KitKat - 2.5 Fingers

I've already given my thoughts on the Sakura Starbucks experience (not one I shall be repeating), and maintain a sense of bemusement at the obsession to infuse this national flower into everything imaginable. So it was with a wary tongue that I bit into the green-coloured Sakura (Japanese Cherry Blossom) KitKat. And after all, it wasn't actually too bad. I spent a good few minutes trying to work out what it reminded me of (Kelloggs Bran Flakes of all things...), and although I probably shan't be picking up any more (at least for myself), I shall be eating the remaining bar in the fridge, rather than passing it off on someone else in a future care package. Not that I ever do that. Ever. Certainly not to get rid of Sweet Potato flavour ones (Harry).

A Cornucopia of KitKats

There are many things that I hate about living in rural Japan; the distinct lack of cheese and sausage rates pretty high. The delightfully grating obsessive etiquette grows tiresome after a while, and perhaps most importantly the utter inability to get a decent rum and coke anywhere in the locality.
Of course, every cloud has its lining; this morning’s earthquake was a welcome excitement, and the sheer volume of karaoke bars, often with attractive-once-drunk geisha wannabes are great fun.
But nothing comes more highly regarded by this seasoned traveller than the volume and variety of KitKats on sale over here.
Anyone who has worked with me in the theatre knows that near production week KitKats become my life blood, so I relish in the love and imagination for this simple confectionary item that the Japanese seem to have.
And so, here is this month’s offerings from Nestle Japan. I shall be rating on the “four-finger” basis; those that are true delicacies shall receive a full four fingers, and we shall work from there. So, for your mouth-watering enjoyment, here’s the KitKat collective!

Raspberry and Passion Fruit KitKat – 3 Fingers

I believe that this one is a Valentine’s Day special. Interestingly enough, the Japanese have even managed to change the Valentine’s traditions over here; gifts are only given by girls, and not only to loved ones, but fellow employees and friends. Guys then return the favour a month later on White Day. But I digress. The Raspberry and Passion Fruit KitKat is an interesting one. Two fingers of dark chocolate surround the wafer centre, with a bitter fruit flavouring sandwiched in the middle. It’s a pretty good one, with the fruity taste both pleasant and just the right side of sickly sweet. The one thing
that lets it down though is the unappealing aftertaste, leaving you unsure as to whether the initial delight is quite worth it.

Calpis KitKat – 3.5 Fingers

Calpis, for those not in the know, is a Japanese soft drink, kind of in the same vein as cream soda. As such, its coupling with the KitKat is a strange one at first thought, but it is one that most definitely works out. A white chocolate variety with a delightful, almost “fizzy” twist, this is available in large multipacks, and certainly doesn’t leave you regretting buying them in bulk.

Red Pepper KitKat – 3 Fingers

I’ve always been a fan of the chilli/chocolate combo; indeed one of my signature recipes involves smothering a good venison steak in the stuff. As such, this dark chocolate delight was a much welcomed gift from a friend in Tokyo. With just the right peppery kick, this is a nicely spicy little niblet.

Royal Milk Tea KitKat – 1.5 Fingers

The Japanese love their tea, though it is usually drunk without milk or sugar. Thus this “English” style KitKat, complete with a cute picture of the Royal Guard on the wrapper, came to being. But the taste? Well, I’m not the biggest tea person, so perhaps not the most unbiased of critics, but to be honest, it’s not great. The flavour is somewhat akin to gone off milk. So sorry, but not one I shall be sharing with the Queen next time I go for tea.

Maple KitKat – 3.5 Fingers

Now this is a cheeky little number which delivers exactly what it says on the tin. Presumably released to celebrate the Winter Olympics, this is another white chocolate bar, with just the right amount of maple flavouring. A truly delightful combination.

Custard Pudding KitKat Bar – 4 Fingers

Amidst a land of tiny portions which often leave you craving more, this beast of a bar holds a gold medal for sheer ballsiness. Upon opening, the custardy aroma hits your nostrils with a punch, and the bar itself delivers a smooth and satisfying crème brulee taste. Most importantly though, it is not only delicious, but it also fills you up. Top notch Nestle. This one’s a winner.