Cinco de Awesome

Piñata Survival Island
(David and Scott Hillenbrand)

B-Rating: 3.5 Stars

Let’s face it, when it comes to movies, one of the major selling points is the name. When it comes to the B-Leagues, the stupider the name, the better. To quote the two that I so often do; Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman; the name summarises everything. We know exactly what stupidity to expect. Even The Killer Shrews (a film I am determined to find, having seen the trailer - thanks to M.D.) tells us instantly what we’re in for.

So, imagine my joy when I came across the little heard of Piñata Survival Island, a film starring none other than Buffy’s Nicholas Brendon, and Nate “Harvey from Sabrina” Richert. This was one I had to see.

The story starts off with some delightful back-story about a piñata maker who trapped all the bad will of the people in his village in an magical piñata. Wonderful! We then fast forward a few hundred years to find a group of “college students” (none of whom are under the age of thirty) arriving on a remote island for a weekend of fun, frolics and, for some bizarre reason, underpants collecting.

Naturally, one of the overacting “teens” stumbles across the piñata, breaking it open and unleashing the evil forces within. Or at least a really badly CGI-d donkey demon.

The rest of the movie sees each of the kids bumped off in hilarious ways by the monster, with Xander… I mean, whatever his name is, giving some brilliantly over the top expo, and his female accomplice delivering some of the finest melodramatic screams I’ve ever seen in a piñata-based movie.

My one complaint is the CGI piñata… It clashes so harshly with the rest of the film; we are presented with a gloriously campy Power Rangers meets Scooby Doo the Movie
Set-up, only to have an almost-too-good-but-not-quite-good-enough monster. Had they gone all out on the schlock and made a lame poly-foam creation, this would’ve been ingenious. Alas, it seems they almost weren’t quite brave enough to go the whole hog. Or donkey.

This film is currently #70 on IMDB’s Bottom 100, with most of the message boards complaining about what a “bad horror movie” it is. But quite frankly, it’s called Piñata Survival Island. Were you expecting bloody Kubrik?