Sorority Row(Stewart Hendler, 2009)
1.5 Stars
Teen slasher movies have always been something of a guilty pleasure of mine. I don’t know what it is, but seeing utterly clueless, poorly characterised American teenagers running hopelessly from some generic, unoriginal killer with some poorly contrived motive has an element of surreal charm. Of course occasionally, the hours of trawling through trite pays off, resulting in that rare classic such as Wes Craven’s superb shock-fest Scream.
Unfortunately, despite being billed as “the best horror film since” the aforementioned classic, Stewart Hendler’s overhyped Sorority Row really doesn’t push many buttons.
With a highly formulaic plot; prank goes wrong, girl ends up dead, murders ensue, and a cast of unknowns who couldn’t act their way out of a Stephen Schwartz showcase, Sorority Row is a true outing in mediocrity in the teen slasher genre.
Normally at this point in proceedings, I’d single out some of the better performances. Alas, not one character stands out amidst the group of breast on legs clearly chosen not for their acting ability, but for their talent for tantalising horny teenage moviegoers.
One thing that Sorority Row does have going for it, however, is some delightfully fun deaths. You can see each one coming from a mile off, but there’s some schadenfreude to be had nonetheless.
Sorority Row is by no means a classic of the genre… Indeed it’s by no means a classic in bad movie making. It’s just another generic and unoriginal remake of a cult horror that will disappear rapidly into the ether of late-night Channel Five viewing. Ho hum.
Unfortunately, despite being billed as “the best horror film since” the aforementioned classic, Stewart Hendler’s overhyped Sorority Row really doesn’t push many buttons.
With a highly formulaic plot; prank goes wrong, girl ends up dead, murders ensue, and a cast of unknowns who couldn’t act their way out of a Stephen Schwartz showcase, Sorority Row is a true outing in mediocrity in the teen slasher genre.
Normally at this point in proceedings, I’d single out some of the better performances. Alas, not one character stands out amidst the group of breast on legs clearly chosen not for their acting ability, but for their talent for tantalising horny teenage moviegoers.
One thing that Sorority Row does have going for it, however, is some delightfully fun deaths. You can see each one coming from a mile off, but there’s some schadenfreude to be had nonetheless.
Sorority Row is by no means a classic of the genre… Indeed it’s by no means a classic in bad movie making. It’s just another generic and unoriginal remake of a cult horror that will disappear rapidly into the ether of late-night Channel Five viewing. Ho hum.
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